15 hours

The feeling of flying is awesome.
I will miss you, Towel, Mimi(and her stomach), Squid, Bed sheet, Pillow and Newly-acquired-towel-which-I-have-not-named.

















Dear client,

You will recover, I promise. I will give you drugs, alcohol and other unimaginable agents of sin. Then, you will live free, always.

Your friend,
Feurlic

If only you knew how much I missed you.

A Tribute to my Home.

Once upon a time


Zephyr


A home takes after its owner










392







And so, goodbye.

Goodnight tonight, goodbye forever.

I would leave this place that I never belonged to, or rather, never belonged to me.

This is the end.

Anyways.

She wonders why she still kept those instruments after all those years. They were a reminder of

no, maybe not like this.

Once upon a time, there was a girl called Peiyi and she often engaged in MRT escapades with

which is too predictable.

She was back, ripe and ready for

for consumption? for childbearing? no, shall not go into that.

Nevermind, I need to rant about my latest fetish.
So anyway(s), over the years, as many may have known, these are only some.
1. Corsets
2. Lace trimmings, Lolita dresses, Gothic Lolita (they are different, mind you)
3. Triangular items
4. All things vintage
5. Brown vintage bags (which are, unfortunately, sources of laughter for two of my dearest friends)
6. White grand pianos
7. Fishnet stockings
8. Burlesque
9. JC Hutchin's '7th' books.
10. Elves and other fantastical creatures (elves in particular)
11. Superman
12. Batman (sorry, I'm a geek, no doubt)
13. Cats

My latest fetish, strange enough, males shirts (both short and long sleeved), and, tarot cards (which sometimes scare me).

iTunes horror

After finally and painfully and manually transferring my entire iTunes library to the new computer, and about to download podcasts from my usual authors Hope is Emo, Scott Sigler, Mur Lafferty, TEE MORRIS!!!!!, JC HUTC!!!!!, etc, they (the iTunes) tell me these authors were not available in the Singapore store!!!!!

What S'pore store? I never suscribed to any S'pore store!!!!! Do something! Or I'll never be able to listen to their audiobooks ever again.

Dragon Con <3<3<3<3<3
http://www.dragoncon.org/

I want to go, but obviously, I can't. But one day I shall go and indulge in the sci-fi and geek culture that belongs there.

Staircase couple

Forgive me for being intrusive on your staircase affair.

I never meant to look out of my window one day to see the both of you kissing.

All I wanted to do was to water the plants, not to chance upon a couple on heat.

So again, I apologize that the two of you have to kiss in such a place you mistakenly think is private.

(Everyone staying on the opposite block can clearly see the two of you, sweethearts.)

And so, perhaps it is that same ignorance of the fact that they can be seen that drove them to have sex on the staircase today.

Perhaps you would forgive me now that I tell you I did not see you having sex, only that my neighbours all did and told me about it.

I was gossiping to my parents about my friends' love-lives and although they were amused, intrigued and disturbed all at once, they seemed satisfied that I am not involved in any of such events. I think they were very pleased that I agreed with their stance on: No boyfriends before 21.

Then, if they knew what was my true reason for agreeing with them, one not of personal principles nor of feminism as I would usually tell them, they would certainly send me for counselling.

Still, I am certainly glad that we can see eye to eye on this matter. Especially so after one disapproved of me dressing like a slut (thinking that the reason was to attract boys). Of course, the real reason why I dress like the way I do is not something they would understand.

Of course, I try my best to dress the way they want me to when I go out with them so that they would not be ashamed to call their your child. It's fine with me really. Genuinely so, I am not rebellious in nature and like, very much so, to do the best I can to do my part as a family member.

On a more negative note, I have turned into a sloth recently. I don't bath, I wake up at a time too late to take breakfast and I do dumb things like draw on my nails. This new found slovenliness that I have gained should by right make me feel ashamed of myself but no, it does not. I feel nothing. Feeling nothing is never a good thing.

My anti-social behaviour is miraculously fading away. Oddly enough, I felt pretty happy during prom unlike during previous social events. I'm going to restore my facebook, no, not for common reasons but only to get the prom pictures that everyone wants to upload and none wants to send to me!

Due to all the packing, scotch taping, labeling and eventual unpacking I have to do, as well as the numerous gatherings I have to attend, B@S, APPY, etc..., I haven't had the time to do the things I really wanted to do this holiday, like get a job, learn Japanese, go for piano classes (maybe dance too), write a lot (anything but narratives now) and to some community work to atone for the unspeakable social and personal ills I have done this year. It would also be good if I could go for some sort of course that would improve my memory, after realising I forget information in the textbooks so easily.

Besides, my 10 day long Taiwan trip with 26 other Singaporeans that will collectively emit 'kiasu' vibes and my trip to Shanghai to fulfil my duties as a granddaughter will take away so much of the time I planned to spend doing the above.

So, two weeks before the 'O'-levels I stopped feeling miserable because I told myself I did not have the time to waste on being sad and that I would have all the time to be sad during the holidays. Sadly so, I cannot, for some reason, feel miserable these days. I do not know if I should celebrate. Is this called growing up and out of the teenage years - a period of unstable emotions and misbehaving hormones that disagree with your reason? I don't know. But what I know is that I can't play the piano the way I used to. I feel more detached from all that, somehow.

On changing.

It happens every year or two. This changing thing. Every time I move to a different class, school, environment or even just another group of friends, I instinctively become a different person. It's not something I deliberately call upon or want to do. It's so natural for me to become someone that will suit the requirements and whims of others. Perhaps some would call me a fake person of sorts, or a person with no backbone of my own. But they would not understand how much easier my life has become after this constant chameleon behaviour. After all, who would not go to any means to protect their personal interests?

However, this kind of change does not mean that I will also naturally forget all the people or occurrences that have caused me hurt of any kind. Speaking of that, sometimes I truly wish I have the ability to forget selectively. Especially so, this year. And I suppose if possible, I would want to deliberately shed the skin I am currently wearing from today onwards, because the skin was created in the first place for the exact thing that I want to forget.

Funny, how the people around me change, some gradually, some overnight. At times, I change with them, according to them. But there are also people I desperately wish they would stay just the way they were before.

I don't know how long more I would let that matter consume me but then again I don't suppose it matters anymore. I assume there would be more of such things in different forms that I have to face in the future. And I believe in the sacrificial acceptance of such things, to fight your own emotions and lock them up so that they cannot interfere with what you ought to do, or rather, what conventions expect you ought to be doing.

I am not empty, or weak inside. Nor soft or vulnerable, despite popular belief. True, there is nothing within me now, but I can always fill it up with many other things.

My self-worth is tattered and no longer recognizable. But I don't need self-worth to survive. I just have to forget that I am a human being in the first place, then I'll run freely with no restrains of any sorts.

Yay.

Shakespeare hates your emo poems

<3 <3 <3

Someone googled her name and came across my blog.

NAPHENNIA
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NAPHENNIA